He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
