small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
