The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
