i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
