Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
