): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
