Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
