NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The air taste purple.
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