Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
