theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
