I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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