he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
