Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
how can u be prego again
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize