she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you had me at cake vodka
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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