watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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