she looked like the before picture.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
