i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize