He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
