was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
