U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
