Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
