SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
