I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
