last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
