I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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