Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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