Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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