come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
