I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
