he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
