Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
