That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
