When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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