i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
