Can Purell be used as lube?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
