Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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