So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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