walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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