just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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