i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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