Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
