I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
