he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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