I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
