I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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