My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
