what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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