so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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