i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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