Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
