Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
