hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
