i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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