Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
