Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize