We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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