Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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