He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize