I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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