another moral hangover. fuck.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
