i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
