this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
